When Joy Feels Far Away

The inspiration for this blog comes from a box on our new patient intake form. Among a long list of symptoms and concerns, there is one that simply says:

"Lack of joy in life."

It pains me how often that box gets checked. Not because there is anything wrong with the people checking it, but because it reflects something I think many of us are feeling right now.

In my own life, and in conversations with patients, friends, and family, I've noticed that an extraordinary number of people seem to be navigating major transitions. Relationships are changing. Careers are shifting. Priorities are being reevaluated. Old identities are falling away. I've been moving through some significant changes myself.

Whether you attribute it to life's natural cycles, astrology, the Year of the Fire Horse, or simply the collective challenges of being human, many people seem to be standing in uncertain territory right now. There is a lot competing for our attention and energy. Many people are navigating personal transitions while also carrying concern about the broader world around them. The political climate can feel divisive, the news can feel heavy, and it can become surprisingly easy to lose touch with the simple things that bring us joy. 

And when life feels uncertain, joy is often one of the first things to disappear. 

Or at least, it feels that way.

A Lesson From My Mother

My mother, Sandra, recently turned 80. 

Many of our patients know her. She is often spotted walking Ollie, pulling knotweed from around the lilies, or keeping our zen garden free of leaves and sticks.

If you've spent much time around her, you've probably noticed something else too.

She is one of the most consistently positive people I have ever known. In all honesty, I could probably count the truly negative things I've heard her say in my lifetime on one hand.

That doesn't mean her life has been easy. It hasn't. Like anyone else, she has experienced grief, disappointment, worry, and loss. Yet somehow, she has maintained a perspective that I deeply admire.

"There Is No Way to Happiness. Happiness Is the Way."

I've had this quote hanging in my home for years. These days, it resides in our clinic breakroom. Like many people, I spent years believing happiness existed somewhere in the future:

After I graduated school.

After the business grew.

After the systems were finally in place.

After I found a long-term partner.

After the relationship improved.

After life felt more settled.

But over time, I've come to believe that happiness isn't waiting for us somewhere in the future. It's found in the way we move through our daily lives. It's less of a destination and more of a practice. This doesn't mean pretending everything is okay when it isn’t. It doesn't mean toxic positivity. It simply means recognizing that happiness is not always the result of favorable circumstances. Sometimes it is the result of how we choose to relate to the circumstances we have.

The Simplicity of Joy

To me, joy feels different than happiness. Happiness can feel like a broader way of being. Joy is often much smaller:

A brief flash. A small moment.

The feeling that arises when you see a color you love.

The comfort of a texture that feels just right.

The warmth that appears when someone dear to you crosses your mind.

The comfort of being wrapped in a blanket on a cold day.

The peace of lying on a yoga mat after a long week.

The sound of running water.

The sound of leaves rustling in the trees.

The feeling of standing in the mountains or looking out over the ocean.

The company of good friends and realizing how fortunate you are to have them in your life.

Or Ollie. If you've met him, you know exactly what I mean.

To be fair, he can be a little selective about making new friends and occasionally a bit grumpy when strangers are involved. But once you've earned your place in his circle (and yes, it is usually as easy as giving him a treat), you’ll be greeted by a constantly wagging tail, a goofy smile, and an enthusiasm for life that is contagious.

Watching him realize that a ball is about to be thrown may be one of the purest expressions of joy I've ever witnessed.

The beautiful thing about joy is that it doesn't usually require major life changes. It simply requires recognition. Joy is available in tiny moments throughout the day. The practice is noticing them. And perhaps lingering there a little longer when we do.

Bliss: A State of Harmony

Last year, a dear friend and colleague of mine, Leanne Horvath, introduced me to the concept of bliss in a way I had never considered before. Leanne is a yoga teacher, breathwork coach, myofascial therapist, expert in tantric yoga philosophy, and one of the wisest people I know. I'm also fortunate that she rents space at Basic Balance, which means many of our patients have had the opportunity to experience her work firsthand.

When we discussed bliss, she described it as a feeling of harmony. Not excitement. Not achievement. Not even necessarily happiness. Harmony. 

She told me that one of the places she experiences it most reliably is during acupuncture. If you're a patient at Basic Balance, you may know exactly what she's talking about. It's that feeling that sometimes arises on the treatment table when your body becomes deeply relaxed. Your thoughts quiet. Time feels different. You feel peaceful, spacious, connected, and deeply at ease. Almost as though you're floating. 

That sensation cannot be forced. It tends to emerge when the body, mind, and nervous system stop pulling in different directions and begin working together.

That's bliss.

A Final Thought

If you're someone who would check that box for "lack of joy in life" today, know that you're not alone. More people are carrying that feeling than you might imagine. The good news is that joy is often closer than we think. Sometimes it begins simply by paying attention to the moments that make us feel a little more alive. 

My hope is that after reading this, you'll take a moment to ask yourself a simple question:

What brings me joy?

Then make a little more room for it.

For me, happiness, joy, and bliss are related, but distinct. Happiness is a way of living. Joy is the recognition of life's small gifts. Bliss is the experience of harmony. 

All three are available to us more often than we realize. Not because life is perfect or because we've solved every problem. But because they were never waiting at the end of the journey. They've been quietly traveling alongside us the whole time.

Perhaps the real practice is simply learning to notice.

Wishing you moments of happiness, sparks of joy, and a little bliss along the way,

Allison LAc

Owner & Acupuncturist, Basic Balance